Greetings One and All,
I hope that you all have had a great weekend and you are well and in a good place in your lives! I truly mean that with all of my heart. Just a warning, this particular blog is not so much about fashion and it may take a bit longer to read. This will be the exception rather than the norm and thank you for bearing with me as I address this particular subject matter! It was with much consideration but my “team” and I decided that if it can help someone then it would be worth it.
I will not use any names, place any blame, or “get into” the other issues surrounding the topic! This particular blog is about finding happiness after a LOSS and I don’t mean the loss of your car keys or phone! I am not a mental health expert and don’t claim to be but if experience counts then I do have something to say. I will start off by prefacing that I am no stranger to loss and the grieving process and I am telling you this so you will understand there are many levels of severity in grieving. If you think of the worst thing that could ever happen in your life and it does, then all things and I mean ALL things will take on a different perspective. My worst nightmare did happen I did not see my only son for 10 years and I grieved for 10 years as I thought that I had probably lost him forever. I will briefly touch on the 5 stages of grief later in this blog. Again the specifics of this are unimportant and bear no connection to the topic of today’s discussion, only that on I suffered grief in a way that was and is immeasurable. I have experienced it as many of you have or will one day and I hope that this will help you find the happiness in your life again, help you own your life again, and take back your ‘TERRITORY!”
Less than one year ago I suffered or lived (does that give you a clue) through a very public spit with my then business partner! However, it was exactly one year ago this month that I realized that everything and everyone in my life, as I knew it, was about to change – forever! What I did not know was the magnitude with which it affected my state of well- being and happiness.
I was not thinking of it in terms of a grieving process. I think of grieving the loss of a person due to a death, but this was a Loss in a big way! Bear in mind for your own mental health that a loss is a loss is a loss and everyone deals with loss differently, but one thing is for certain, grief is the foremost emotion that you will be dealing with one thing I can promise is that you cannot go around this pain, over it, under it, or any other way but directly through it! I prayed like hell that there was another way to bring HAPPY back!
I lost relationships, my daily routine and purpose (this was by the way, the thing that probably hit me the hardest), the travel back and forth every 10 days from Florida to NJ and back. Believe it or not, when things become routine and the routine is broken and lost, especially suddenly, it hits hard. The loss goes on and on, I lost my business plan that I put so much into, the future and success of what I had poured time, money, and my whole heart and physical effort into was gone. In an instant it was over! Wow, where do I go from here? Now mind you, obviously there were some things I did not miss so much, and I did get to get back on the golf course every day! Having said that, my golf game is damn good even as we speak, it ought to be, as much time as I’ve put into it! Just a little chuckle!
Briefly I will touch on the five stages of grief, I am sure that most of you know this already, but bear with me. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance! I am not going to go through each one but there is a great book by David Kessler and the title is ON GRIEF AND GRIEVING. Everyone experiences this process differently and you can vacillate between these 5 stages indefinitely! However, I will say something about the last stage called acceptance. Acceptance does not mean that you approve of the situation or that you say it is OK, it means that you have found a way to live again with what you now know is the new reality, and finding that thing called “HAPPY!”
I am not even sure that once you go through the process that you can say that you are happy or you are a happy person! I want to say a few things about happiness, because I am all about it, 100% of my heart wants everyone to find it because once you do, you will never let it go! You may lose it for a while, like your car keys, or sunglasses, or your phone, but once you had a taste of it, you will always seek it. AND, the most important thing I’ve learned in life, or one of the most important things that is, is that you have to work at HAPPINESS! You have to make a conscious decision every day you wake up and say to yourself today I am going to start off happy! Think happy thoughts when you are not happy, think of things that make you happy, for me the most important thing that is and always has been for me is my supportive network of friends and family. I can only tell you that I could never have lived through some of these things and done as well without friends and family. Two people I thank the most for getting me through this particular hardship is my husband, God bless him, and my assistant and one of my dearest friends Suzi Pfeiffer! She gets the “get into heaven” guarantee card for sure!
Through all of this, I certainly have changed! I am a work in process, but it has made me more appreciative of happiness and created a desire to help people get out of that funk and live life. I am so very grateful for what I have because it could be soooo much worse. If only I would win that big lottery, I think I could solve a lot of peoples problems ……
JUST KIDDING! My heart goes out to people and their suffering. I wish you all happiness always…
As for me, I am taking back my territory! It’s a work in progress, I am not quite sure where I am headed but I am gonna kick some Fashion-Ass so to speak. It is my passion, it is what I love and no one or no emotional break is gonna take away the things I love most! Look out guys, I am on a ROLL! TAKIN’ LIFE BACK!
Once again, thank you for the read, I hope that this was not a drag! Mostly this is about fashion, just once in a while, it doesn’t hurt to switch it up! Please Please give me feedback and comments! Let us know what helped you find happiness and take back your LIFE! Also, if any of you want to write a feature blog or be featured here, you know how to reach me!